(עברית בהמשך העמוד)
Years after their marriage went sour, two dear friends of mine continue a devastatingly bitter fight for child support. He can’t or won’t pay up and she is far away and in despair. This morning I woke up to an eloquent and urgent email in my inbox, addressed to a few of us friends and relatives with one of the hardest things a person can do – ask for help.
Seeking help is almost always difficult. Our pride, our shame, our insisting on doing it ourselves, the fear of vulnerably and weakness – all those often stop us in our tracks, even if it means staying stuck, when really all we need is just a kind hand to get us back up.
There’s a beautiful story in the Talmud about an ailing sage who is visited by a colleague who tried to comfort with wise words and verses, but what really helps the healing is when he extends a hand and says to the one in bed: Give me your hand – and helps him get up.
I find it difficult to ask for help. I want to spend a few minutes today thinking about that and what I can do to do it better. These days I’m back at the driver’s seat of the organization I founded and am passionate about. This past year was hard for a whole bunch of reasons and I need to raise a lot of money from friends and supporters old and new super fast. I’m not asking for child support or healing a disease, but I am asking for help in making a good idea serve the world better. And still – that simple ” I need your help” is hard for me and I’m struggling to be honest and direct and vulnerable, as I remind myself that we are all invited daily to be there for each other in myriad ways, one endless circle of hands holding hands, taking turns in offering and receiving help.
On day four of this PREPENT journey to a finer focus and a good new year, I’m taking stock of moments in which I asked for help and got it, and also harvesting the moments from this past year in which I was blessed to help another, in some way.
This brings up shame and pain but also gratitude and pride. Most important, it helps me remember where I still have unfinished work to do, and where I can still offer a hand, and how to raise my hand high, and with dignity, invite you to see me even in an hour of need.
Who sought your help this year? Do they still need it? Where do you go to these days when you seek help – first aid for the soul? Do you allow yourself to be helped at all?
it can be so simple. The Beatles got it right…