40 ways in 40 days to find your focus: High Holidays Virtual Journey with  Amichai Lau-Lavie:


Love is NOT a battlefield. Sorry Pat Benatar. This is the gist of the comments I got yesterday, in reaction to my usage of ‘battle’ as a metaphor for this internal process of self-perfection. Elisabeth suggested I think of this intentional process as a play, in which each of us is the director and we get to re-cast and re-direct the players on our inner stage. Caryn sent me to Buddhist teachings about surrender, Benjamin quoted Benedictine wisdom and Josh said that repentance is best practiced like courtship – slow and seductive. Whatever works for you, y’all..


I am no fan of militant methods for achievement of anything. But sometimes, methinks, discipline is hard to come by and every means to get there applies. So maybe facing one’s demons and changing oneself for the better is not a war – and it does not have to involve self mutilation. But it’s definitely got to involve a strategic approach, useful tools, an inner army (ok, cast) of helpers and a tangible goal: a satisfying victory. No War Crimes Tribunal to follow but rewards to the triumphant self when the 40 days of focus finding are over. Plan your feast. Meanwhile, how to get there. Here’s an idea.


Someone who is close to me is dealing with depression, finding it hard to get out of the house and take life on. She now works with a life coach, and they made a deal: each day she will work out for 20 minutes – any kind of work out at all – outside the house. When done – she texts him a brief ‘did it’ message. She respects him, and wants to do it. I offered to help by also taking on 20 minutes daily, starting today – and when I’m done – I’ll text her. It’s like a daisy chain of commitment to self-improvement, discipline, and daily change. I’m in to win. The next 30 days, a daily 20 minutes. Maybe more. Want to join and text me with you ‘did it’ daisy chain? Then pay it forwards. Maybe your 20 minutes isn’t about bodywork. Maybe it’s writing a page in your book, going through your address book one letter a day and finding who you need to make amends with, or maybe 20 daily minutes are about some other non violent playful warfare on the field of change?


Gym shorts on, here we go. 30 days to go.

C. – you can do it!