day 19
Only one hour meter for the car parking on second ave near the cafe where i meet a young couple whose wedding I will officiate soon, and they are there along with their parents. We discuss rituals – his Catholic upbringing, her Jewish one, what of it will be part of their lives, what present at the wedding ritual. tears are shed, hearts open, a beautiful conversation about the sacred and every few minutes i glance at my watch to make sure that the hour isn’t up and the meter still ticking. Strange how life is divided up into these time units. Meters in taxis, clocks in therapy rooms: our time is up, sorry.. And how measuring time in units IS connected to the sacred – to what we really really want. where we park our car, or where we take the taxi to and ideally breakthroughs in therapy – all, in some way, pathways to the sacred, important, desired and values moment of our lives. My awareness of time is definitely heightened by the ticking meter – and the fear of a fine. And how is this connected to THIS countup? each day counting a bit closer to the big presumed reunion with something sacred on the imagined mountaintop within, a step closer, one at a time to mindful, soulful, more me. the count, this meter helps me focus and remember – that’s its only role: keeping the beat.
this morning I keep beats with my little Ezra – at 18 months this kid can dance, and drum. We are at shabbat morning young families services at BJ and there’s guitars and drums and lots of friends and Ezra goes right for the drums and as we all sing Bim Bam and Hallelu he nails it – right on cue, keeps the beat. Amazing.
Maybe that’s what our hearts do – the big metaphors – keep the beat.
Today is day 19. Malchut of Chesed – the Majesty of kindness, the regal reminder of love. Reminder to be within one’s own regal self – not enslaved by time or duties or the habitual self. With all that’s going on – friends stranded in Europe as Iceland’s laba obscures the daily routine, as I rush here and there, meters running, errands and meetings and deadlines (including this now daily duty of delightful counting) I pause to focus on the heartbeat. listen to heart beat. put a finger on my wrist and feel my pulse for just a few seconds. Kol Dodi Dofek – the voice of the lover is knocking, pulsing, beating, within.
and soon we’ll count 3 stars in the sky and the Sabbath Meter will terminate and time, sacred, will roll. 31 to go.

SINAI 5-0 countup Day 18 4/16 Six reasons for this counting, 3,000 years old.
SINAI 5-0. COUNTUP. Day 20. 4/18 STARE: EYE 2 EYE, no giggle.