The mountaintop is getting closer. How many of my goals have I achieved so far? how has this journey helped to refine my sense of love in the world, my mindfulness, focus, purpose? with only two weeks to go, I feel there is so more to learn and to improve. I am not ready for the summit. not yet.
Today starts the sixth week, and it is the sphere of Yesod – foundation. Yesod is often associated with the sexual organs – with the erotic vortex, the base of desire and love. Chesed of Yesod is he kindness needed to deal with this part of ourselves, the tender grace to balance the lustful power of this drive.
In his guide to the Omer count, Rabbi Gavriel Goldfeder writes : ‘refining Yesod may be the most difficult work of the omer. It deals with the core issues of self-centered-ness, self worth and self respect, dependency and abandonment, generosity and seeing the other, and the challenges of engaging in full and honest relationship. ‘ (The 50th gate, a spirited walk through the counting of the omer)

So this is the work. when it comes to self respect and self worth – i translate it as asking for what I want, and need, and desire. No shame. Asking X or Y out on a date, with no fear of what they’ll say, or asking Z for financial support – with hopes for yes, but no fear of no. firm in my foundation.
And – smiling. Smile, as simple as that, as the kindness that lends a hand to make foundation firmer, relationship less tense, every interaction easier.
even online. say the harshest thing, the most daring ask, and add a : )
14 to go.

sinai5-0 countup2love day 35 5/3 wait less. be more. o impatience
sinai5-0 countup2love. day 37. 5/5 gotta trust the process, 90 days strong